Broken

It was bound to happen.  And when this inevitable happened, it was our own response that caught my husband and me by surprise.  There was no screaming, no lecturing, only a little laughter followed by a quick text to the hairdresser before we walked out the door.  The temptation for Bella to introduce the children’s scissors (which had been entrusted to her and her older sister to open a package) to the back of her own head was finally too much when Boo left the room for a few minutes.

At first Bella was completely unaware of the damage that she had purposely inflicted on herself.  She bounded upstairs for dinner confident that nobody would notice the jagged tresses poking out from the back of her head. When the lopsided layers started to bounce with her wiggling jiggling demeanor, she became shy.  And then when we asked where she hid the hair, there was no reply.  Finally we simply sent her to retrieve it.

It wasn’t until we explained that a trip to the hairdresser would be necessary that the tears came, lots of tears.  The tears didn’t last long though as they were quickly replaced by a hot defiance.  Soon we were hearing shouts of “I AM NOT GOING TO THE HAIRDRESSER, YOU ARE NOT CUTTING OFF MY PRETTY HAIR,” and “I DON’T WANT TO LOSE MY PONYTAILS.”

By this point we were running late for Bible Study, so we quickly shuffled everyone out the door.  Content to hide under the hood of her jacket, the rest of the evening was fairly uneventful until we returned home and it was time for bed.  Apparently reality set in again as Bella was supposed to be putting on her pajamas.  I literally had to slide in-between a slamming door to get into the room to comfort my baby girl. 

Don't be fooled by this smile.  She was still a very unhappy camper when

she emerged from her room the next morning wearing this hat to hide her locks.

 

This little lady’s given name means industrious and rival and I’ll be the first to admit that I have the hardest time saying no to her of all my girls.  It doesn’t help that her personality seems incapable of comprehending that the word “no” can apply to her.  So as I sat there holding her, debating in my own head whether a haircut was really necessary, one thought kept coming to my mind.  I kept saying over and over, “I love you too much to let you stay like this.”

Heather the Hair Boss working miracles

The more I said it, the more my heart realized our Heavenly Father loves us much the same way.  The lessons in that short phrase, “I love you too much to let you stay like this,” are innumerable.  It’s really the crux of the whole gospel.  God loved us so much that He sent His own son to die a horrible humiliating death on a cross so that we no longer have to stay like we were.  Yes God loves us simply for who we are, but the loving Father that He is also desires the best for His children.  And sometimes that best comes through hard things, things that we don’t understand, and things that we fear.

Let’s face it.  There are just some things in life we can’t fix on our own, things that are way more important than cut hair but just as impossible to piece back together.  Sometimes God can’t mold us into who He wants us to be until we are broken.  Sometimes He can’t work the most until we are at our least.  And then like I held my crying little girl and carried her to bed at her request, He picks us up and makes something beautiful out of the pieces of our own failures, mistakes, and shortcomings.  We don’t magically have long hair again.  Instead He gives us something different, something beautiful, something precious, and ultimately something that we have learned to value.

I love how this new haircut shows off her beautiful eyes.

 

Psalm 51:17(NKJV)

¹⁷ The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart—
These, O God, You will not despise.

Psalm 103

¹Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
² Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
³ Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
⁴ Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
⁵ Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
 

⁸ The Lord is merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.

¹⁰ He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor punished us according to our iniquities.

¹¹ For as the heavens are high above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
¹² As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
¹³ As a father pities his children,
So the Lord pities those who fear Him.
¹⁴ For He knows our frame;
He remembers that we are dust