The Door in the Wall

One of the things that I love about homeschooling my girls is being introduced to incredible books that I would not have been naturally drawn to myself.  Their curriculum does an outstanding job of selecting excellent pieces of literature.

We just finished reading “The Door in the Wall” by Marguerite de Angeli and by the end my oldest daughter was making fun of me because I had tears in my eyes.  The story takes place in medieval England and chronicles how a young lad is taught to find “the door in the wall” after illness causes him to lose the use of his legs.  That door is the pathway through or out of any situation that can be found when we learn to use the skills and talents that we do have rather than focus on what we don’t or have lost.

 

Since my last post, some have expressed concern.  They can recognize and relate to my brokenness.  And I think it’s important to convey that my day-to-day is more often good than not.  So I will do my best over time to display the bigger picture, but I’m sure it will look more like putting a jigsaw puzzle together than painting a portrait.  And so often it’s confusing because the different areas of my life are connected like a spider web, polar ends tied to each other by a thin thread.

The last few weeks my heart has been torn by circumstance.  We truly are blessed to live in one of the most beautiful, friendliest, and safest places to raise our girls.  The only drawback is that it happens to be a 30+ hour car ride away from all of our extended family.  I’m finding that I cherish my visits home even more and leaving is becoming harder than ever.  People simply aren’t as young as they used to be and while no one is guaranteed any length of time, I no longer find comfort in just waiting a few more years to see if a closer job is available.  I know in my heart that the only place I need to be is exactly where God wants us as a family.  And while I truly believe that, it is so much harder when my location is directly tied to my husband’s job.  Enter a bad week or two and suddenly I’m feeling trapped.  It’s not pretty as I’m more claustrophobic than your average Joe.  And then there’s the fact that we’re quickly outgrowing our starter home and like I said folks, it’s spider webs.  Everything’s connected.

When things head south, the first place I usually turn is within.  I start to evaluate and often find I’m my own worst enemy.  If I’m cuddling the baby, I start to think I really need to spend more time with my big girls.  If I’m studying photography, I remember the dirty bathroom.  The list goes on and on and oftentimes leaves me immobile.  So I was intrigued as the young boy in this story was encouraged to cultivate his talents.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from this story:

Upon being delivered to the knight he was supposed to serve as a page, “Sir Peter kept Robin’s hand in his and spoke directly to him.  “Each of us has his place in the world,” he said.  “If we cannot serve in one way, there is always another.  If we do what we are able, a door always opens to something else.””

An answer from the friar that nursed him from being completely lame to being able to walk with crutches, “A fine and beautiful life lies before thee, because thou hast a lively mind and a good wit…Fret not, my son.  None of us is perfect.  It is better to have crooked legs than a crooked spirit.  We can only do the best we can with what we have.  That, after all, is the measure of success:  what we do with what we have.”

“Anyone could not do it.”

“But Robin was learning patience.  He had found out that the harder it was to do something, the more comfortable he felt after he had done it.”

 

I honestly don’t know where our path will lead.  It just might be right here.  And while I’ve admitted to struggling in my walk with the Lord these last several months, I recognize that I can’t deny His protection and His provision even during this time.  His mercies and faithfulness continue to amaze me and I’m excited to see what doors He opens.

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.

Psalm 37:3