Field Trip

Another pleasant surprise last week was an invitation from some homeschool friends to join them on a field trip Friday morning.  I didn’t realize it, but one of the local universities has a museum with over 700 mounted birds and animals. 

 

 

We had just finished a science unit on birds so the timing was perfect.

 

Even Bitty enjoyed the exhibits.

 

 

We found a cougar.

 

And Bella was in full big sister mode. 

I so appreciated her help as Bitty made a run for it every chance she got.

  Bitty's favorite was this moose in the entry.

 

Boo's favorite was a kangaroo complete with joey in pouch.

 

Bella's was this skeleton of a large hadrosaur.

 

I think my favorite comment of the morning was when Bella

observed that the head of this pheasant looks like Cleopatra.

After the museum we stopped by Daddy's office for candy, met some friends for frozen yogurt, got Oreo samples at Wally World, and enjoyed Happy Meals with Barbie toys for lunch.

 

And the icing on the cake of that sugar-laden adventure was coming home to wonderful weather and playing outside with friends the rest of the afternoon.  Here Boo is showing off her chalk sketched town for scooter riding.  I love the way she thinks.  In her world, we'd only live 20 minutes from her godparents and 4 hours away from her grandparents.

 

Psalm 34:8

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

 

 

 

Wordless Wednesday

Hope



Sometimes it’s the simplest things that bring the most joy.  After checking the weather forecast at the beginning of last week, I was pretty discouraged.  Rain was predicted Every. Single. Day.  So imagine my surprise when not only did the sun shine most days, but the temperature even reached 60 degrees at the end of the week.  The girls got to play outside with their friends and I finally got to log some longer runs outside after months on the treadmill.  At the end of one of these lengthy runs, I was walking up the steep hill to our home and came across these flowers at the edge of a neighbor’s yard. 

 

Triply Blessed ~ Sunshine, Long Run, and Now Evidence of Spring. 

  

 

Flowers at the end of winter always cause me to think of HOPE.

 

Having just read Romans 8 several times this past week, verse 24 comes to mind where the apostle Paul asks, “For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees?”

My natural inclination isn’t always toward Hope.  Sometimes I get so distracted by the bags I’ve chosen to pick up in this life.  My heart gets weighed down as I wonder if I’ll ever get to live closer to family when so many are aging so quickly, or how our choice to homeschool will affect our girls when they’re older, or if I’m ever going to truly learn those lessons that God’s been trying to teach me the last few years, or if I’m ever going to figure out this wife and mother thing.

The topic of our small group Bible study last week was despair.  When hubby looked up the dictionary definition of despair, it read the absence of hope.

As we quickly approach the Easter season, I’m grateful for the Hope that’s been promised through Jesus.  I’m fairly certain that all of my questions aren’t going to be immediately answered.  Life is about stretching and growing.  It’s about learning to rely on the One who gives new life.  But I’m so grateful that when my heart is cold and weary after a long winter that He reaches out and places visual (bright, beautiful, unavoidable) reminders that Spring is coming.  There’s reason for Hope.

 

Psalm 27:13

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.

 

1 Peter 1

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴ to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, ⁵ who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

⁶ In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, ⁷ that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, ⁸ whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, ⁹ receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.

Survey

So we're taking a survey...

 

We need to decide whether to nickname this little diva

Bitty the Bully or Bitty the Bruiser.

I almost stayed home from church on Sunday morning because I wasn’t feeling good.  After seeing how cranky Bitty was after having late night houseguests on Saturday evening, I thought we might be safer at church where Daddy was just down the hall.  I was wrong, so very wrong.  While Bitty often has the church nursery to herself or just one other little boy, there were two extra little guys there yesterday and I got to see a whole different side of our littlest princess. After watching her steal toys, flail her arms in front of one little guy's face, and generally be dramatic, I decided everyone might be safer if we moved to the entryway outside of the sanctuary where we could still hear the sermon.  Even this effort went awry when one of the little boys came walking up and she decided to kick him in the shins.  While we’ve often joked about her being scrappy with her older sisters, I’m grateful that this isn’t her norm with other little kids.

 

I think the sweetest part of the morning was not feeling condemned for my little drama queen.  I’m grateful that we’re part of a community that laughs with, cries with, and encourages one another.  One friend in particular brightened my day with her sympathetic smile because I knew she was right there in the trenches with me as she and her toddler were having a time-out as well.  Someone once said about this stage of life that the days are long and the years are short.  I can’t wait to see how these little ones that cause us to walk the halls and shake our heads change the world. I’m certain that God has big plans for them and I’m so very grateful to have this little diva in my life.

1 Thessalonians 5:11   ~

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up,

just as in fact you are doing.

Update: On Tuesday morning we found out she has 4 new teeth coming in all at once.  They are the four eye teeth filling in the holes between her front teeth and molars.  I'm hoping this explains the general crankiness that reined on Sunday.

 

Wordless Wednesday

From the end of January

The Past Week

Last week came and went, taking the month of February with it.  With the exception of our annual celebration for angel baby, much of the week was uneventful.  The week wasn’t particularly bad, but I was surprised to find myself functioning in auto-pilot part of the time. There were times that I just had to simply put one foot in front of the other, but there were also times where I chose to revel in the simple joys around me.  So if you had popped by for a visit last week, here’s what you would have found:

 

You would have been invited for a cup of tea by the littlest princess. The princess part is important because I'm asked for a princess (dress) on almost a daily basis.  If I'm lucky, she's happy with her tutu or a cotton dress.  If I'm not, she wants to wear her best sparkly Christmas dress to scale the furniture and eat orange slices.  When you arrived for the tea party, you would be instructed to "SEEET" in a squeaky little voice.  You would most likely be served cupcakes with your tea and if the teapot needed refilling she'd turn around to the water station on the door of her play fridge.  You'd also find a little girl who's mastering the English language very well. Her most commonly used phrase of late is, "I want (fill in the blank)." In the case of the lower left photo, you'd be requested to share your real meals as well after hearing "I want bite." And no party is complete without boons.  Bitty Bear wasn't very happy that we'd released all of our balloons at angel baby's celebration, so she was quite happy when I returned with these later in the week.  The only problem is that she wasn’t fond of the static electricity that they caused in her hair and immediately had to fix the problem with the closest possible solution, the dog brush.

You'd also find a little girl fascinated with all things technological.  She is in heaven when given the privilege of playing the computer and actually sits still.  I've been struggling to engage my middle bear as I teach her older sister’s school and try to keep up with her younger sister’s antics.  For now the tablet has been a good solution as it allows her to quench her thirst for video games (educational ones, of course) while keeping her close at hand.

 

You'd also find a momma breathing a little deeper or maybe that’s sighing with relief. Reading has been a constant struggle with my oldest.  She has always been able to retain a ton of information simply by hearing it which has resulted in her not necessarily seeing a “need” for reading.  I’ve had many friends suggest that I just needed to find that one series that captivates her attention.  It finally happened when I accidentally stumbled on this Breyer series while trying to redeem a credit at the local book store.  She literally can’t get enough of these books and we’ve already ordered the entire series.  She’s almost done with it too.  It’s incredibly exciting to see this child look forward to reading by herself or to her little sister at bedtime.  You’d also find another hole in this sweet girl’s smile as she just lost her tenth tooth.  There was more blood than I cared for this time, but she was quite satisfied with the result.

 

 

You'd also find lots of messes. Every time I turned around it seemed like every single toy in the house had been drug out onto the living room carpet.  As much as it makes me want to pull out my hair at times, it also brings me much joy to see my girls playing together.  At the end of this long week, you'd find a mom that introduced the girls to delivery pizza for the first time while their father was at a work function.

 

In the midst of the sticky floors, piles of laundry, never ending dog hair, toys strewn everywhere, and unhealthy diets, you'd find a momma that is truly thankful for the regular and routine.  This past week serves as a gentle reminder to revel in the small things, to be grateful for having these babies together.  We anxiously prepared for our number three.  She was the only one of our girls to have a nursery ready before she arrived.  We would have gladly walked that road.  Ultimately it was not our choice.  But having had that small glimpse into the life of a child with chronic health issues nudges me to appreciate this ordinary week even more.  Whether it's because of disabilities, disease, finances, deployments, or even infertility, I'm reminded there are others who think my and your "mundane" looks just right.  The only perfect response for a weary soul is gratefulness.

Psalm 107:1-2

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

² Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story

 

Philippians 4:6-7
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Colossians 4:2
Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving

Wordless Wednesday

 

When Holidays Are Not Happy Days

My birthday came and went last week and to be honest, the day was less than mediocre.  To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.  More than one person told me they just didn’t know what to do and afterwards I was left to examine my own expectations. 

 

I’ve never been one for lots of hoopla.  I hate being the center of attention.  I am most comfortable hanging out with the people I love and often find that my version of a good time isn’t quite everyone else’s cup of tea.  My birthday has become a little more “complicated” in the last few years since we lost our third daughter right at this time of year.  We found out that she had passed in utero the day before my birthday and I delivered her the day after.  I can’t even tell you what I’ve done on my birthday the last couple years so I’m not even sure the feelings that I’ve conveyed to others.

As I came to terms with our daughter’s passing, I began to look forward to having a reason to celebrate during the dreary winter season.  I think it helped that last year we started an annual family tradition to remember our angel baby.  Since I knew exactly how and when we would commemorate our baby girl, I didn’t feel selfish or disrespectful about taking time for me the day before.

Even so two other factors complicated the situation.  One is that I’ve always been keenly aware of dates.  I can rattle off most of my family’s and extended family’s birthdays without batting an eye.  I associate things in life by what major event occurred near that time.  So I’m not exaggerating when I talk about these dates.  They are part of how my brain works and how I tick.  Even the option of a half-birthday is off the table since I got pregnant with number three then.  The second problem is having no wiggle room in the schedule.

And that is how things started to go awry.  For convenience we were planning to celebrate with a birthday lunch at my favorite restaurant (75 miles away) the day before my birthday.  When an unexpected conversation that morning forced me to acknowledge it was the anniversary of baby girl’s passing, the person I was talking to mistakenly assumed that the big lunch in the city was to honor our little angel.  I know it was an honest mistake and I’m not upset with the person.  I didn’t even make a point to correct the assumption, but it did seem to put a damper on the festivities.  I also noticed that I started to anticipate the next day more when it was legitimately “my” day.  I felt like a fraud.  I will never be able to compete with a dead baby, my dead baby.  She will always be more important than my own celebrations and honoring her memory is essential for me.  I also realize though that I need to find equilibrium and simply not celebrating my birthday for the rest of my life seems pretty unbalanced. 

So what were/are my expectations?

·         Although we were both up at 4 am with a vomiting child who had indulged in too much junk food the day before, I would have liked for us both to wake up on time so that I could have had a relaxing morning shower before we had to rush out the door.

·         My favorite moments have always involved spending time with my family.  I’m happiest when I can spend time with them, even if it’s as simple as playing board games or having a movie night as long as it’s been planned ahead of time and not just an afterthought. 

·         I want to hear from my extended family, but I hate forced or reminded conversations.  It’s important to me to know who remembers and please communicate with me the way we normally do.  If we usually text then text, but if generally talk on the phone then call.

·         Considering the early wake up call, an undisturbed nap would have been nice.

·         A cake I didn’t have to bake myself at the end of the day would have been appreciated.  German Chocolate is my favorite on my birthday.  The rest of the year I prefer some variation of vanilla.

·         If the weather had been nicer, a jog outside would have done my soul good.  When the day headed into a downward spiral, I should have remembered that a drive in the country with my camera would lift my spirits.  (For my hubby, help me remember this.  When I’m upset, I can’t think straight.)

·         I always appreciate cards or emails with heartfelt messages.

·         I’m not a huge fan of gifts, but I am extremely grateful for the ones I receive.  I struggle with accepting monetary gifts from people who could use the money more than me.  Having been raised to write thank you notes, I’ve found that I almost dread presents because I haven’t had time lately to express my appreciation the way I would like.  At this stage of life I just can’t keep up with all of mine and particularly my kids’ birthday, Valentine’s, Easter, Halloween, and Christmas gifts.  My favorite gifts though are usually things that I can’t get for myself (think homemade) or things that show that a person truly knows me.  I was incredibly touched that my sister remembered my favorite kind of salsa at Christmastime.  It doesn’t have to big, being genuine is key.

Writing all of this down hasn’t necessarily been easy.  I tackled this task for those who expressed feelings about not knowing how to approach the day.  Just today I came across a Facebook post that asked, “Why Complicate Life?”  Among the many questions listed, one stuck out:

“Wanna be Understood?.......Explain”

Taking myself out of the equation, I think the day served as an important reminder of how easy it is for me to categorize other hurting people as impossible, demanding, and hard to love.  Unless they’ve asked otherwise, giving them “space” might only make them feel more isolated.  And doing something, even if I’m unsure of “the right thing,” is better than doing nothing at all.